How can I possibly be happy as a single?!
I am sharing my story to prepare for the possible onslaught of responses from brothers and sisters in Christ about my philosophy on being happily single.
Before I became a believer, I was involved in a series of very short-term relationships. They had their high points and low points, but I never became very emotionally attached to them.
After I became a Christian, I still got involved in short-term relationships with people who could possibly be classified as very, very lukewarm believers.
Throughout my life, I never thought I was attractive or successful enough to attract the right kind of person. When I became a Christian and got more immersed into church culture – I also blamed myself for not being “Christian” enough. I carried these ideas with me well into last year. The breaking point was related to the experience I had with Frank Lloyd, a man from my church.
The changes in my cognition are due in part to God’s grace and my decision to leave the social and spiritual environment I had been involved with. Leaving Frank Lloyd and company behind has provided me a sense of peace and space to be my authentic self.
Well, it’s time to take care of some business. I organize an online group and a few people have requested to join. Someone’s (yours truly) going to be in the doghouse for her procrastination. (whimpering)
Red Wine Gums said,
March 27, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Sounds like you’ve had a tough time but you’re sticking with it. Well done.
An important thing to remember is that you can’t become more Christian. You can’t become more righteous in God’s eyes. If it was possible Jesus wouldn’t have had to die. Since it isn’t possible it’s just as well He did
LadyElaine said,
March 27, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Just wanted you to know you are not alone in your experience. I saw your comments on puritancalvinist’s blog and wanted you to know that I truly believe that our marital status is not the big picture, but the character and posture of our heart is important.
and btw, the church culture you describe sounds like legalism and an environment with truth but seriously lacking grace. I think that’s why people in church are afraid to be real about their struggles and who they are. Truth be told, I know that i’m not perfect. But I know that I can’t walk around hating my brothers and sisters for not acting the way I think they should—because then it points back to my unconscious belief that my influence can change people behavior when it can only persuade, not actually make to choice to change for them. God works on people’s hearts, not nagging, social rejection, and exclusion.
intimatesoaps said,
March 27, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Very Nice blog
exchurchmouse said,
March 28, 2008 at 2:48 pm
“God works on people’s hearts, not nagging, social rejection, and exclusion.”
LadyElaine – You got it!