Sabbatical
I am going to take a break from blogging for personal reasons. I will be back after I find employment and get stabilized.
Thank you for being such faithful readers.
Why it is difficult to be Single and Christian
After reading several blogs and talking to different Christians, I just have to post a few things about not only being single, but being single and moderate – conservative Christian. In my experience, liberal Christians have more lattitude with their relational life given their dictrine, but again, I could be wrong.
Why is it so difficult to be single and Christian at the same time?
1. You cannot have sexual relations before marriage. Well, you CAN, but it will complicate your life more than you think it will from the outset. Especially if you end up breaking up with the person.
2. The leap to marriage is like jumping from the bottom of the Atlantic ocean and to the top of Mount Everest. Truthfully, I understand why men have a difficult time making a commitment, let alone proposing.
3. The generally unidirectional nature of WHO chooses WHOM tends to be towards the favor of the Christian man and not the Christian woman. But, ultimately, the Christian woman needs to be aware that she owes it to God and herself to respect herself and not base her sense of attractiveness on who chooses and doesn’t choose her.
4. There aren’t a lot of singles (or married folks) who seem willing to coach people who really need some dating coaching. Truthfully, I get more substantial advice out of Sex and the City and the mainstream secular relationship coaches who tell it like it is.
5. There is a need for people to get people connected to each other. Not necessarily matchmaking, but providing more opportunites for people who are in close proximity, but who do not know each other to meet. Sometimes lack of exposure to different people can be the cause for not meeting somebody.
6. Because of the trials some single people go through in the area of broken relationships, it is very difficult to be resilient. And it is easy to go back and make the same mistakes again or to assume that history will repeat itself.
7. There is this notion that you can just “get out of a self absorbed” thinking mode because honestly, I think that a lot of Christians who are single are feeling relationally insecure and picked over. The lack of support from the church to see their situation as a trial makes me physically ill.
I am not really interested in “going out to just meet more eligible people”. I put quotes around it because I want to differentiate between that and where I have trouble. I tend to “connect” with somebody and then really get attached to the person before I have had an opportunity to get to know him thoroughly. Then, I become insecure if there is some lapse in communication that can go from 24 hours to a week because I assume that he has moved onto greener pastures (in the form of more pious Christian women who prefer the Newsboys to Nirvana and root beer to Belgian Beer) and I beat myself up for having feelings for somebody. Neither of these behaviors are healthy, but like Dr. Phil says, I am getting a payoff from the negative thinking.
I am not one for diets – but I really believe that I should consider going on a 30 day fast from any dating or dating related behavior (in my world, it is like holding hands, etc). There is really no way I am going to beat this negative thinking if I am just going to continue things as are.
How much is that pony in the window?
I wonder if I should ask my dad to get this for me as a graduation present:
