I felt anxious throughout most of today. I think it had a lot to do with waiting in a smelly subway station for a sluggish Blue line train on my way to class and then waiting in the cold air for a smelly subway train on my way back to class. After I returned back to my neck of the concrete (ha!), I went to Grossinger Toyota to pick up my car. My car has become a regular “patient” at Grossinger.
I have a take home examination due on Tuesday. I started working on it a little on Monday and then today. Somehow, I feel better psychologically when I work at something a little at a time. I like to complete a rough draft and then edit it so I don’t feel rushed.
I don’t know how I made it through the last two years. I forgot due dates and often fell behind on a lot of the reading. I definitely attribute my improvement to changing my social environment. I never realized how much of a social and emotional drain I was in until I looked back and thought about how miserable I was. At that time, I felt as if I had to have a drink (or two, three, four…) to feel socially alive and I felt as if I were crazy for being miserable.
Well, I guess the moral of the story is that you can still be a Christian and maintain boundaries.
Let’s Talk Shop
I have started the job searching process already. School lets out in May 2008, but like a squirrel, I am keeping my eyes peeled for the choicest acorns. I am pretty flexible about where I will work and the kind of job responsibilities I have. When I started school, I was very interested in staying employed within the field of teaching. But, my internship experience provided opportunities for me to complete program projects in the office in addition to teaching a course and I discovered that I like the office setting.
If you feel led, please pray for me during this process. In my opinion, there is no such thing as “the perfect job”. A great job cannot replace my relationship with God and others. So, pray for me to be grounded in that philosophy and to trust that as I am engaged in the job search, God is ultimately in charge of where I will be employed. If you can’t align with what I am saying about God being in charge (there are differing ideals about God’s will in our world), that is okay 8-)
I appreciate your attentiveness and thoughts.
Puritan Prayer
Grace Active O God, may Thy Spirit speak in me that I may speak to Thee. I Lord Jesus, great high priest, Thou hast opened a new and living way by which a fallen creature can approach Thee with acceptance.
Help me to contemplate the dignity of Thy Person, the perfectness of Thy sacrifice, the effectiveness of Thy intercession.
O what blessedness accompanies devotion, when under all the trials that weary me, the cares that corrode me, the fears that disturb me, the infirmities that oppress me, I can come to Thee in my need and feel peace beyond understanding!
The grace that restores is necessary to preserve, lead, guard, supply, help me. And here Thy saints encourage my hope; they were once poor and are now rich, bound and are now free, tried and now are victorious.
Every new duty calls for more grace than I now possess, but not more than is found in Thee, the divine treasury in whom all fullness dwells. To Thee I repair for grace upon grace, until every void made by sin be replenished and I am filled with all Thy fullness.
May my desires be enlarged and my hopes emboldened, that I may honour Thee by my entire dependency and the greatness of my expectation.
Do Thou be with me, and prepare me for all the smiles of prosperity, the frowns of adversity, the losses of substance, the death of friends, the days of darkness, the changes of life, and the last great change of all. May I find thy grace sufficient for all my needs.
